One of the most tried and true gaming tropes is the protagonist who isn’t the person that they think they are… sometimes they conveniently have amnesia that doesn’t wear off until late in the game, and other times they have simply been lied to or manipulated by others into believing they are someone that they aren’t. When a character finds out that they are secretly a member of royalty or the “chosen one” within the narrative, those moments are pretty cool… but when you discover that you are nothing more than a clone (or worse, the original villain of the story), those reveals are a bit less exciting. Who wants to go through the entire game believing we are the hero, a person of impeccable character, a paragon of virtue… only to find out that we are a nobody at best or a monster at worst? The idea of being an impostor never has a positive implication, and in the gaming world this concept is at the heart of one of the most well-known games of the modern era… Among Us.

In Among Us, the difference between the actual crew members and the impostors in their midst cannot be detected visually… from the outside, each of the characters have a similar appearance. And in the hands of a skilled impostor, a counterfeit crew member can be very difficult to detect and can give the appearance of being a productive and helpful teammate. From the outside, they may appear to be performing the same tasks as the rest of the crew, but ultimately the results of their actions betray their purpose. It isn’t the “vibe” that they are giving off that makes them “sus” (shorthand for suspicious for those who don’t like typing out long words)… it is the poisonous fruits of internal sabotage that their labor generates.

If we are being honest with ourselves, we all wrestle with “impostor syndrome” at various points in our lives… it reveals itself in how confident we are in our roles within the home, school, work, or the other activities we take on, attacking us within our minds in a battle to convince us we aren’t actually the person everyone else thinks we are. And the worst part about this mental wrestling match is that our competitor doesn’t fight fair… it shows up while we are just trying to rinse the shampoo out of our hair in the shower to remind us of all the embarrassing mistakes that we’ve made. It appears while we are attempting to fall asleep to strip us of our peace as we realize that the challenges that await us tomorrow are above our skill level. It reveals itself like a news ticker running at the bottom of the screen throughout our day with unhelpful thoughts like:

• “You know you are in over your head, right? You aren’t qualified for this… and everybody knows it”
• “None of these people actually like you… they don’t even KNOW the real you.”
• “If everyone knew about all the mistakes that you’ve made, nobody would trust you.”
• “Everybody is just waiting for you to mess this up, the way you’ve always messed everything else up.”

Sometimes my mind can become so overwhelmed by the constant barrage of unhelpful “impostor” notifications that I start to listen to them… and I can always tell when “impostor syndrome” is kicking in by how concerned I become with protecting my reputation, covering up my insecurities and vulnerabilities with a façade of confidence and an over-reliance on “looking busy”. Like an “impostor” crew member in Among Us, I try to blend in with those I perceive as “knowing what they are doing” by simply mimicking their movements and performing simple tasks that won’t expose the reality that I am concealing inside. But in an ironic twist of fate, I have found that many times the people I am surrounded by are facing the same internal battle that I am… we are all fighting a losing battle with our respective “impostor syndromes” on the inside while trying to “fake it until we make it” on the outside.

As a follower of Christ, I would like to say that the “impostor syndrome” battle ended the day I accepted His grace to cleanse me of my sins and made the decision to repent of my previously flawed path and accept His leadership… but if I am being honest, I still face periods of wrestling with the shadows in my mind. And if you are still grappling with some of these unwanted, intrusive thoughts that interrupt your peace and attempt to steal your joy, here are a few Biblical reminders that have encouraged me when I have found myself in these dark places:

• Impostor syndrome tells us that we aren’t qualified to do this and that the challenge is too big, but the Almighty God says, “I am the LORD, is there anything too difficult for Me?” (Jeremiah 32:27) and that we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us (Philippians 4:13).
• Impostor syndrome tells us we have made too many mistakes and fallen too far to be used by God, but the eternal Word of God says that the gifts and callings of God are irrevocable (Romans 11:29), and that the Father has removed our repented sins as far as the east is from the west (Isaiah 43:25).
• Impostor syndrome tells us that what we have and who we are is not enough, but the Lord reminds that His grace is sufficient for us and that His power is made perfect in our weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9).

1 Corinthians 1:26-29 For you see your calling, brethren, that not many wise according to the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble, are called. But God has chosen the foolish things of the world to put to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to put to shame the things which are mighty; and the base things of the world and the things which are despised God has chosen, and the things which are not, to bring to nothing the things that are, that no flesh should glory in His presence. 

“Impostor syndrome” doesn’t fight fair, because it has access to all of our worst memories, our darkest thoughts, and our biggest fears… and the only thing strong enough to shut it down is to remind ourselves that “God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of POWER, LOVE, and a SOUND MIND” (2 Timothy 1:7). It is the Spirit of God in us that gives us the POWER to fight the battles ahead of us, reminds us that we are LOVED unconditionally by the Father, and that our MINDS belong to Christ… and anything that tells us otherwise is not only an impostor, but a liar. We may still face moments that remind us that we are still a work in progress, but we can silence those thoughts with the reminder that “He who began a good work in us will be faithful to complete it” (Philippians 1:6). I won’t pretend that my life is free from battles with the “impostor syndrome”… as a matter of fact, every new challenge that the Lord leads me into unlocks a new wrinkle in my “imposter syndrome” wrestling matches. But I have found that these battles don’t last as long as they used to, because these verses encourage me to answer my most critical inward thoughts with the confidence of an empowered, loved, and forgiven follower of Christ… and if the Lord has pronounced me clean, qualified, capable, and victorious, then that is who I TRULY am.

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